I had a heavy night of conversation with my girl friends and realized we’ve reached that age where we begin to talk about the quickly-approaching future — owning property, being particular about our careers, plans for marriage/family/children/etc. We start to see how others play the game of life — the conventional ways and the very bold ways. I think I am the type to do the bold, unconventional path but probably cave in to the pressure of eventually “settling down”. At this tender age of my early 20′s, of course right now I want to be independent and have no one to answer to, or no one’s schedule to accommodate. But later on, I will probably yearn to care for someone and raise a child. It’s like people who hit their 30′s will have that desire to kick in naturally. Maybe I’ll get a dog or cat to fulfill the desire.
I feel like I might do a disfavour to society if I have children and not be fully prepared to raise him/her. But then again — is anyone prepared to raise a child? You need a license to drive a car, but no license to have children. For eternity people have searched for the answer to why people choose to have children. Some have explained that it is the ultimate sign of love and selflessness, and if you’re in your 30′s or 40′s and still childless, it means you are afraid of going through the pain and suffering of being a parent. Well, excuse me for sparing you a child that probably doesn’t get enough love or attention.
I don’t know. I think my thoughts about marriage and children will change. I will probably want them later on. Right now I just feel like people get married and have children because they don’t know what else to do with their lives. Our society is so dependent on templates and following historical patterns because it is the safest thing and only thing to do in life. And women are told that, biologically, the chance to have children will disappear before they are emotionally ready. That’s too bad.
It’s interesting to see how needs and goals in life change every couple years. In high school, having a boyfriend was the most important thing to me. And now, the most important thing is whether I will have a fulfilling career that isn’t soul crushing. In a couple years, the most important thing to me will probably be what house to buy and whether I can still eat cheesecake.
Ahh, I don’t know what I’m putting such a loaded thought into this blog. I guess I just want to see who actually comes here to read text and who will just say, “hey, nice outfit!” lol. HI!!!
I am wearing:
Blouse: Vintage (Etsy)
Sweater: Gap
Pants: Sears by Attitude
Shoes: Kenneth Cole 925 Silver Belle
