Wipe that goofy grin off your face and focus on the words I am about to tell you. I want you to drop everything you are doing and execute the following immediately. Failure in compliance will result in a wack in the head with a Dr. Marten boot. Trust me, it’s for your own good.
- Run to your closet
Even if you’re not at home, you’ll just have to run back. - Gather all coats, jackets, skirts or tops that sport a slit, vent or pleat
Some common places to look include the tail of a coat and the side of a skirt. - Identify any threads in the form of an X holding the slit together
- If you find said dreadful X on a garment you have worn out in public, proceed to hang your head in shame
- Snip the thread off with a pair of scissors at once
Use your teeth if you have to. Seriously. - Remove any remnants of this mark of stupidity
- Vow to cut every X out of your life
Hey, I sound like a relationship advice columist!
The loose X stitch is only meant to keep the slit or vent flat so it doesn’t get wrinkled during shipping or display. Once the garment reaches your home, the X will have served its purpose in life and should go on to die a glorious death.
You might think I am causing a big fuss, but this seemingly innocent X can do a lot of harm. A well-suited man wearing Ferragamo shoes and a Rolex can look like a fool in a second the moment he turns around and reveals the tack stitch he didn’t remove. A classy lady sporting a beautifully-fitted pencil skirt would not be able to walk gracefully if the stitch were still holding the slit together. No matter how polished the rest of you looks, the X will undo it all. Danger danger! Threads are threats!
If you are X free, extend your arms so I can give you a virtual hug. Friends don’t let friends leave their threads uncut and you are certainly a friend of Tiny Tines!
